Japan. Wonderful, glorious Japan have decided to make a bra that unleashes your fleshy love pillows when true love calls. Created by lingerie brand Ravijour, the True Love Tester bra (such a clinical name, don’t you think?) claims that it “cannot be unlocked without true love.” The bra features sensory technology that detects your heart rate and communicates the data to a mobile app which calculates what your heart rate means. In conclusion, if it thinks you’re excited it’ll grant access instantly.
Now this has its problems in my eyes, depending on the accuracy of the mobile app. What if I am on my way to a hot date and I get accosted by a crack fox who’s jumped out a nearby alleyway and is giving me the eye? Will it flee as the support around my chest gives way? Or how about if I’m springing for the bus? How does it know when I’m sexy and when I’m scared?! These may be the cynical and sarcastic questions of a Cinderella who obviously has not found true love yet. The science-y bit in the video (below) backs this up briefly by showing the app’s ability to set different actions for different rates. For the female heart featured, actual flirtation is just below ‘jogging’ but with a bra that flings open so violently, I sorta feel like that might be the exact sort of security action I’d need to keep the three annoying men at bay; smack a bra into their face like a supportive facehugger.
The manufacturer also states the bra could help save women from unwanted sexual advances because they say so. I’m not sure how much the bra is going for but a quick look on the site did find me looking at a £700 silk jumpsuit, so lets just say that telling that bloke to jog on might be a tad cheaper than actually telling your app how worked up you get from having to jog on yourself. Whilst others grab desperately at thin air in front of a green-screen, a man worthy need not lift a finger. Ancient proverb, that.