The “2 Carlings Please Babe” Tradesman Wanker
He hands me a fvck load of dirty, sweaty change whilst waiting for his Guinness to settle and politely asks my tits where they’re from, where they study and where they live. Receiving no answer he labels me rude and begins to rant to his filthy friends about how much he hates working out of town in fvcking London.
The Toga Guy
“27 shots of tequila please?!”
“FUCK OFF WE DON’T ALLOW FANCY DRESS.”
The Chelsea Shirt Guy
“5 pints of Fosters please?!”
“FUCK OFF WE DON’T ALLOW FOOTBALL SHIRTS.”
The Northener
“£10.85 for two drinks?! This is a fuckin’ piss take. Bloody southeners.”
Go home to Yorkshire then. I dare you.
