The Only Weather Forecast You’ll Ever Need


This is the only weather forecast you’ll ever need. True and honest, it’ll leave you in no doubt that weather reporters are worth their salt.

No-one actually watches the weather forecast unless they’re a boring anorak, are about 90 years old and watch the forecast to see if they’ll need to pack an extra two coats to their day-trip to Weston, or are really hungover and have just slothed in front of the TV all day knowing there’s a good film on at 11ish (something like Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, Con Air, Mulan etc) on the same channel as the weather forecast and it’s just too much effort to move your fingers to change the channel so you lie there like some Greek god. Except you’re nowhere near as much of a roider and you’re probably not lying there with your cock hanging out and the chances are there’s not a humongous amount of fruit surrounding you, either, but still…

The weather forecast is almost always wrong, init? Like, the reporter will tell you it’s going to be a really hot, sunny day but when tomorrow comes it’s pissing down and you have to call off your plans for a smoke in the park and are resigned to a session in your, or one of your boyz’, places. What exactly are the weather reporters paid for? For all we know, they could be making up what the weather is going to be like for the week (they probably are) but some of us still believe what they say like the gullible, conscientious gargoyles that we are.

But, anyway, this is what I’m talking about. A real weather forecast. A weather forecast that tells us the truth and leaves us with no doubt that Godzilla will deflect massive storms away from us and keep us safe like the awesome dude that he is. Aaron Justus, the weather reporter, deserves a pint for being able to keep a straight face, and who’s up for moving to Richmond? There’s nice weather there, after all. And sleeping coyotes. Check it:

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