Former Soviet Union Soldier Explains Why Putin Was Pictured Sitting At The End Of Long Table

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We’re all concerned about the situation in Ukraine at the moment, but one of the weirder images that has emerged from the conflict involves Russian President Vladimir Putin sitting at the end of a long table.

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It’s unknown why he’s sitting at a table of comedic proportions, but some speculated that it might have been due to Coronavirus precautions or just because he wanted to look like a major badass and make whoever he was talking to feel really small. However, a former soldier and Associate Fellow of The Royal United Services Institute (RUSI) has decided to put forward his own thesis about what’s going on in the picture:

Well, fear, is the main one. In that sense Putin’s no different to the leaders of the Soviet Union, or indeed of tsarist Russia frankly, it is a dictatorial one-man state. He will have surrounded himself, certainly in terms of his own personal protection, with disciples, his senior advisors. Anybody he lets close to him will be trusted and you can see him sitting at the end of his table.

Everybody’s saying that’s because of Covid and things, but I don’t think so, I think it’s because of something like Novichok or other forms of close quarter attack. All it would take is someone to take a vial of that stuff out. So he’s keeping his distance, or at least that’s just what I’m thinking, thinking ‘hang on a minute this isn’t Covid, this is 30 metres away, what are you doing?’ So he’s acutely aware of that I’m sure.

He doesn’t go out of the Kremlin, he’s in his own inner sanctum within the Kremlin I assume. And he’s surrounded by bodyguards. They’ll probably be from the FSB […] because he is first and foremost a KGB (main security agency for the Soviet Union) officer. Everyone keeps saying, ‘Won’t the FSB get rid of him?’ But I don’t think they ever will because his senior partners in crime are all ex-KGB officers and the KBG (now FSB) think it’s all dandy because they’re back in the limelight.

One of the things you’ve got to really watch is that if he’s cornered and boxed in, he’s on record stating that if there’s a world without Russia then the world is not worth existing. So you don’t want to put him in a position where he sees the end of Russia as he perceives it.

I think it’s unlikely it would be thousands of people with flaming torches breaking into the Kremlin. I just think he’s got too firm a grip.

One of the things quite interestingly about him, is apparently the thing he is fixated with is a video he has on his telephone of the end of Gaddafi – you know when Gaddafi was caught in that drain and on video was impaled by his own people. Apparently – I cant remember who told me this, but it’s an interesting indicator – he obsesses about this.

If it was his henchmen and immediate entourage then the likelihood is they’d be doing it because they see their own power base as being threatened by his continued existence. But it doesn’t mean we’d be getting anyone better.

Wow. There’s a lot going on there isn’t there? I’m kinda surprised that Putin is worried about being assassinated because he always comes across as a major badass who doesn’t give a fuck about anyone else, but I suppose you can’t be too careful when you’ve got as many enemies as he has. I guess one way to get around that is to always sit at a giant table despite the fact that it looks completely and utterly ridiculous. I doubt Putin gives a fuck though, right?

For more of the same, check out this Aldi steak that looks like Vladimir Putin. Uncanny resemblance.

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