FOOD

The ‘Cthuken’ Might Just Be The Best Thing Heston Blumenthal Never Made

Kraken for Christmas dinner, anyone?

I find it completely and utterly horrifying that images like this exist on the Internet and have managed to go about almost unnoticed to the public eye. Yesterday morning a young woman took to Twitter to share this gastronomic, John Carpenter-esque monster she’d found on the Internets; an image which has been apparently floating around since Thanksgiving:

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Yep, someone somewhere in the world felt compelled to discard the traditional three-bird roast for a surf’n’turf nightmare by stuffing a Turkey with an Octopus and encasing it all within a giant Crab. Lest we forget the delicately placed strips of Bacon. The name also arouses suspicions of another poultry inside hidden from view (I spy Crab, Turkey, Kraken and possibly Chicken in ‘Cthuken’ – would you agree?) but what frightens me most is that this beastly feast appears not to be seasoned whatsoever – and I find that the most chilling thought; how could someone with such a bland palette have such elaborate dreams?

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