How To Not Be A Total Cunt When You’re Shopping


The customer isn’t always right. Find out if you’ve been acting a bit of a prat in the supermarket.

Everyone in western society is painfully aware of the term “consumer rights”, especially those of us that are unlucky enough to work in retail; I’m not going to waste my time by explaining those to you. I’m here to talk about consumer wrongs.

When I say consumer wrongs I’m not trying to imply that consumers don’t have rights; I just mean that some people have got the idea in their mind that they must be treated as kings (or queens) and should hold the highest expectations purely because they might buy something.

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I’m sure many of you will recognize consumer wrongs from past trips to the supermarket. Even people that don’t work in retail will still experience other customers doing some of these things and, if they still have a soul, will be disgusted by such appalling behavior.

I’ve always been told to try your best to change something if I don’t like it, so here are some things to think about before going on your next shopping trip. Consider this a public service announcement for anybody that might ever go into a shop (that means you).

1) Consider That You Might Be Wrong

“The customer is always right” is one of the biggest lies I have ever heard. I’m particularly referring to a “price discrepancy” as it’s known in the industry; at some point, it’s not entirely unlikely that you’ll take something to the till only to be told it’s not the price you thought it was. The majority of times that I have received this complaint, some cunt has picked something up, decided they don’t want it, and put it back in the wrong place, only to have someone else read the right price for the wrong product. The first thing that comes to mind is “false advertising”.


It’s time for me to put on my nit-picking-cunt cap and tell you that this isn’t false advertising. Before you go around making this accusation, try and make sure the price you’ve seen is referring to the product you’ve picked up. It’s understandable that you might hate being in shops; as a shop assistant, I can tell you that I felt the same way before I even beginning my current profession – but if you can stand five more seconds to make sure you’re not jumping the gun, you’ll save a lot more time later on.

The reason that I find this particular consumer wrong offensive is because when you approach anybody and say “you’re wrong” you’re starting a conflict. Most riots start this way. You’re obviously not going to start a riot in a shop by not bending over and letting a corporate fat-cat do you, but in this situation, if you do think you’re right (and hey, we all think we’re right) leave the pitchfork and torch at home.

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