Good news for animal lovers (and animals too) — the EU has finally put into effect a complete ban on the sale of cosmetics developed through animal testing! Grab your pet and rejoice! Don’t have any pets? Kidnap your neighbour’s cat or go bat shit by the gorilla enclosure at your nearest zoo. Failing that, crack a smile for what is actually a landmark date for the people that have been campaigning for years to have this animal testing shiz eliminated for good.
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It’s been a very gradual process – animal testing has been slowly phased out since the 90s and most products utilizing it were banned by 2009. But ‘most’ wasn’t good enough for the animal sympathizers of the world. Now, finally, the ban applies to all products no matter where in the world they come from.
Obviously, not everyone is happy about this. Take Colin Mackay, spokesman for Cosmetics Europe who we envisage to look not unlike a male Cruella Deville.
“Europe’s idea is to put more pressure on other parts of the world to end animal testing, but the science doesn’t match that political timetable”, he moaned. “Consumers in Europe won’t have access to new products because we can’t ensure that some ingredients will be safe without access to suitable and adequate testing.”
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So obviously the next step is to get the rest of the world to follow Europe’s example. That’s not going to be easy in places like China, which demands animal testing as a condition for marketing cosmetics.
Anyway, since we’re showing our compassionate side here, what about those poor people whose job it was to cruelly and unnecessarily run tests on animals for the betterment of cosmetic products? Don’t worry — they’re not out of a job. They’ll still be running tests — only this time on human volunteers (the animals weren’t given a choice you see), and will definitely be spending more time analysing data from all their past experiments. Maybe not as fun as injecting and dissecting rabbits and mice, but still productive.
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