CHIRPSES

A Christmas Ode To UK Trains

tree

With the trains all messed up for Christmas, a poem.

Twas the day before Christmas and all through the land
No transport was moving, not even a tram.
Trees lay on the train tracks, after a bluster
Replacement buses the best they could muster.

Adverse weather warnings were causing delay,
More competent countries were doing okay.
Snowed-on Scandinavians all travelled with ease
While a bit of wind brought the UK to its knees.

In Belgium and Holland and Denmark and France
Travellers had not even booked in advance.
Safe in the knowledge they’d be home in time
To spend Christmas with family and drink lots of wine.

So Network, Great Western, so Southern and Virgin,
Are you able to notice a pattern emerging?
If everyone else has a system that works,
Why’s yours any different? It’s Christmas, you jerks.

A 3% increase in fares every year
Yet stifled are feelings of goodwill and cheer.
So Network Rail bosses, I don’t mean to shout
BUT WITH £11 MILLION A YEAR BONUSES, SORT YOUR SHIT OUT.

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