There are probably going to be a lot of dumb stories involving Danny Dyer emerging due to the fact that his autobiography is coming out in a couple of weeks, so here’s one which is actually really fucking weird.
Danny was just ten years old when he was hanging out with some older geezers back in the East End because of the complete sickhead he is, and that’s when this story went down:
It was one geezer’s birthday in the pub and at noon they got a couple of strippers in.
These women could best described as rough and ready.
One of my mates, who I won’t name, was about 16 at the time. He gets up on stage with them and, in front of 50 geezers — make sure ya ready, not just eaten or nothing like that — she puts a strap-on dildo and does him up the bottle.
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He was really into it. Try doin’ the Lambeth Walk after that, you slag. I can still see the expression on his face. It was bizarrely refined, like Sherlock Holmes enjoying a bit of violin.
He had a fixation about the Old Khyber. One time he poured Bloody Mary in there. He wandered off. We found him by following the trail of tomato juice.
Er what? Danny never mentioned anything like this when we interviewed him and he didn’t use so many East London slang cliches either. But seriously, that would be a disgusting scene to witness when you’re just 10 years old.
I suppose that goes some way to explaining why Danny Dyer is the man that we all know and love now. You slag.