TV Presenter Cockblocks Tortoise And Sparks The Slowest Chase In History

You never thought the tortoise had a turn of speed did you? And you were right.

Tortoises are famous for one thing – their monumental lack of speed, and this video demonstrates that deficit to the full. I always liked to think that when no one was looking tortoises sprinted all over the shop, climbed up trees and jumped rivers. But alas, they appear to be incapable of any turn of speed whatsoever. The internet is awash with awesome slo-mo videos, but there’s no need to slow this one down.

Some fella from the NatGeo channel disturbs a mating pair of tortoises in the Seychelles and the male is royally jazzed off about it. So, like any pumped up male, he chases the TV presenter at his underwhelming top speed.

Check out this speed demon:

In my head the tortoise chose to walk slowly because he’d seen how humans treated horses. I assumed he decided to take a slower pace to avoid being ridden. It turns out that wasn’t true at all, they are well and truly stuck in the slow lane.

If you’re in the mood for more slow stuff, check out these ultra slo-mo sounds, they’ll creep you out.


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