The Sick Chirpse Guide To Blagging Being A Psychic


Do you fancy convincing your family that you’re psychic this Christmas?

9) Have Your Excuses At The Ready

How To BE A Psychic - psychic fail

Be prepared for negative feedback and errors. Turn these to your advantage. At the start you mentioned you’re not going to be 100% accurate, so refer back to that when challenged. Also, remind them that this is a team effort, possibly ask them to try a little harder, skillfully deflecting the fail from your own face to theirs.

If the client points out a mistake turn it round and say “oh well maybe it was way back in time and you don’t remember” or “oh… maybe that’s something that will happen in the future”.

Any awkward silences or stumbling about can be blamed on “bad connections” with the spiritual world. It’s not a 4G network after all, it’s an ancient passage through the mists of Hades.

So there you go. Now you are fully armed to convince someone that you have psychic powers under your belt this Christmas. Good luck. If you are going to attempt this on someone, please film it and send it in to us, or at least let me know how you got on, I bet it’s hilarious: @timboynewtron

If you’re not down with pretending you’re a psychic, why not warm your families hearts this season by pretending you are possessed by a demon instead?

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