GAMING

The New Xbox Controller That Removes YOUR Blood

Introducing the newest blood sport console. As your character loses blood on screen, so do you

Humanity are a gruesome bunch deep down, blood sports have been popular since mankind climbed down from the trees. It wasn’t very long ago that bear-baiting was quite the gentleman’s pass time in central London. The Italians still have their own brutal version of gang football and the good folks of Kyrgyzstan like to play polo with the corpse of a decapitated goat.

Since “civilisation” was born humans have enjoyed the sight of blood. Why they’ve always loved it is a question I couldn’t answer, but I guess we’re all just maniacs deep down. Here in the West we like to think we are more civilised these days, blood sport is frowned upon pretty heavily, but finally some tech whizz kids have managed to sort out a very bloody sport which is not only gruesome but ethical.

A company called Brand & Grotesque have designed a way to modify any console game controller with a rumble pad into a blood siphoning machine. They’re looking for £140,000 for this odd but actually pretty cool Kickstarter fund.

Simply plug the controller into your own arm, and every time your character loses some blood on screen, you lose some too. The loser is the guy who loses the most blood. Simple. But how is it ethical? Well, the blood can then be used where it is needed in the healthcare system. Everyone knows there’s always a shortage of blood. As daft as it sounds I reckon it might just work:

What do you reckon? I think it’s a pretty awesome idea. If you agree and you’re happy to donate around £2,840 into their Kickstarter you can even go round their flat and have a play with it.

I’m not sure I’ll be giving it a go myself but good skills Brand & Grotesque. Good skills. It’s not as gnarly to look at as Mortal Kombat, but it involves real blood, and it don’t get no bloodier than that.

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