NEWS

This Old Guy Is Terrorising People With A Giant Black Dildo On The New York Subway

Think he’s compensating for something?

From Animal New York:

An older man of indeterminate ethnic origin boarded the train at Atlantic Avenue; the man seemed “fucked up on some kind of drug,” loose-limbed and sloppy. Some young men sitting next to him began making fun of him. One of the dudes took out his phone to snap a selfie with the older guy. At that point, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a massive dildo. An anonymous sex toy industry expert ANIMAL consulted estimated that it was between 14-16″ long. The young guys and other people nearby ran away, laughing. The man then started waving the big black dong around, pointing it at people and pretending to jerk it off. The man also kept standing up and clenching his butt cheeks. Then he really got into it: Every time the train pulled into a station, he’d put the dildo away, sit quietly, let people board, then whip it out and wave it around, startling the new passengers. When Ismail got off at Church Avenue, the man was still at it. (VIA)

Dildo1

Dildo2

Of all the screwed up characters we’ve seen on trains around the world, I don’t think we’ve ever heard of a guy swinging a big black dildo around in the carriage before. Seems like something that would have happened by now, but apparently this is the first documented case. What do you do if this guy jumps on your carriage and comes at you with the dildo? Do you try and laugh him off? Fight him? Nothing will give you that FML feeling faster than fighting a dude with a giant black dildo on the tube late at night.

P.S. Kind of makes China’s watermelon head man seem like a great person to sit next to, doesn’t it?

Trending

To Top