Kim Jong-Un Orders Citizens With The Name Kim Jong-Un To Change Their Name

You can’t make this stuff up.

We talk a lot about power moves on Sick Chirpse, and a lot of the time it has to do with the likes of Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-un, and generally people who can get away with making completely outrageous decisions because they’re pretty much untouchable in the confines of the countries they rule.

Well, this week it’s been revealed that before Kim Jong-un came to power, he put out an administrative order insisting anyone with the same name as him change it immediately. There can only be one Kim Jong-un after all. It said:

All party organs and public security authorities should make a list of residents named Kim Jong-un and train them to voluntarily change their names. Authorities should make sure that there is no one making unnecessary complaints or spreading gossip regarding this project.

By ‘voluntarily’, I assume he means ‘threaten to murder their families if they refuse’. The Kim dynasty has ruled North Korea for more than six decades — the UN reports we covered last year make light of the horrors of their dictatorship.

Unfortunately, in North Korea, whatever Kim Jong-un says goes. You may remember how back in March he also made it a requirement that all North Korean men rock similar crap haircuts. Sorry Kim, this won’t change the fact you have a micropenis and Swiss cheese addiction that’s killing you.


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