Jeremy Kyle Headlines We’re Yet To See

Good morning, on today’s show…..

Forks Where The Spoons Should Be, Where Do We Go From Here?

Doris has been with her husband Geoff for over 50 years, and during that time they have not had a single argument. The marriage however is now on the line due to Geoff misplacing a fork: “It was a simple mistake, but I don’t think she’ll trust me again” said Geoff. Doris is waiting to see what the outcome of the lie detector results are before contemplating her future with Geoff.  Doris now keeps all her cutlery in a filing cabinet which is locked so Geoff is forced to eat with wooden eating utensils which he knocked up in the shed.

I Only Came On For The Free Hotel, How The Fvck Did I End Up On A Boot Camp With Graham And A Load Of Chavs?

Billy has been exploiting the show for a number of years now “Basically anytime I have a problem, like when my son John is being a little shit, I just come on here”. However Jeremy has decided that it’s time for Billy to face up to his responsibilities so has fucked him off to the Moors along with Graham and ten other kids who are likely to rob you blind as you sleep. The days take their hindrance on both Billy and his son as they undertake teamwork tasks and listen to Graham’s endless waffle of bullshit.

If you’re the kind of person who enjoys laughing at the grot that appears on Jeremy Kyle, check out this transsexual who cut off her own legs on Jerry Springer.

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