Jeremy Kyle Headlines We’re Yet To See

Good morning, on today’s show…..

Well what can you say about Jeremy Kyle that we don’t already know, he likes to shout, very loudly, at people who have been lured into a false sense of security by the research team only to have Kyle’s questionable morals thrown at them.  Over the years this cash cow has been getting milked for all its worth. Back at the starting point of the show it actually held some weight, straight talking television host? This is what we need!  But over the years Kyle has played to the cameras and his guests have declined rapidly, with his latest only having qualifications in Facebook and P45.

The shows headlines are steadily running out, he’s dealt with shire horses, sisters sleeping with boyfriends and urban Casanovas who have slept with over 2000 women, so what’s next…

I Haven’t Seem My Half Brother for Ten Years, But is he Really My Stepdad’s Uncle?

Dennis is concerned that although he hasn’t seen his half brother, Robert, for almost ten years, reliable sources in the form of people he doesn’t know and social network status updates have led him to believe that his half brother could well be his stepfather’s uncle. Jeremy shouts at Dennis for a bit whilst his team poke his half brother, Robert, with a stick whilst forcing him to send Dennis abusive text messages so the show has something to play with after the break.

The Hamster Was Fine Until Your Crack Addiction!

Jenny’s hamster, Rocco, was a healthy fun loving hamster that enjoyed sucking water from over sized bottles and running around on a big wheel. However when her violent boyfriend Cuthbert introduces crack into the house, things take a turn for the worse. Rocco goes through a series of events that have seen his cage being pawned in Cash Converters, his bottle being used as a crack pipe and him being sucked up by the vacuum cleaner. Graham attempts aftercare whilst speaking in hamster.

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