CHIRPSES

Jeremy Kyle Headlines We’re Yet To See

Good morning, on today’s show…..

I Can’t Find The Remote Anywhere, And You Had It Last!

When Mark had left for work as usual Janine saw nothing out of the ordinary, until she sat down to laugh at people at Jeremy Kyle and couldn’t find the remote. Janine says “It’s not like it’s a small remote, it is one of those big massive Sky jobs, the one with all the buttons on and that so you can pause it” She advises Mark had it last as he was checking the time on Sky, “Why would I check the time on Sky?!” says Mark in an animated manner “Not only do I have a watch, but the times on my phone as well” Janine’s mum Karen is convinced Mark is a liar, despite her not even knowing what is going on and not even being sure as to whether she is Janine’s mum in the first instance.

 

Yes I Slept With Your Brother, But I Am Married To Him!

Jason’s brother, Phil, is convinced he has been sleeping with Jade behind his back. Jason makes no denial about this, “Well yeah I have, but she’s my wife!” It transpire that Phil believes that Jade is his wife and his family are worried about his outlook on life. Jason says “when he was a spy for MI5 it was fine, he would tell us stories of his missions and how his bedsit in Clapham was a cover, but his latest outburst is simply unbelievable”. Tensions get high during the conversation which results in Jeremy Kyle roaming the corridors looking for Phil whilst workers at ITV look on pissing themselves laughing.

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