I stopped playing Call of Duty ages ago. The reason I started playing it in the first place was because I was bored and depressed and smut wasn’t quite cutting it anymore. The end result was, and is, always the same and there’s never a twist in the plot unless you’re watching some really weird shit but let’s not get into that as I don’t really wanna see you on the news going down for some weird sex thing. So, yeah, I began playing Call of Duty to waste time and to pretend I wasn’t that alone, really, but as time went on I realised that it’s a piss-poor game and is pretty irritating and the end result is – more or less – always the same.
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One good thing the game has got for it, though, is that it’s really easy to annoy people on there. These people being insufficient human beings who didn’t get enough attention as a kid and have now wilted into their teens/early twenties/forties (those are the really weird guys) with a complex burrowed into their shoulders that they’ve got to get attention somehow and this complex has turned into a gaming fetish. So, they play the game until they’re really good at it and know every single map off by heart and speak to fellow gamers over the mic and pretend they’re interesting human beings/gloat in their gaming greed and spout out abuse which is mostly aimed at fellow gamers’ mothers, with the odd gaming-street-jive slung in, such as’ noob’ or ‘camper’.
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The thing is, though, even though these people have dedicated their lives to an unimportant virtual world and they pride themselves on their finger-bashing ability (they’d be shit at fingering a girl, though) and shout out abuse to other gamers, it’s actually really easy to annoy them. All you gotta do is say derogatory stuff back to them and occasionally block them in places or stay in the same place all game or throw flash grenades or follow them around the map, drawing the enemy to their position. That’s what I used to do and I guess I was one of those annoying trolls that everyone hated, and still hates, but I’ve grown up a bit now and I’m clean of Call of Duty and its vices.
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But this guy is a bigger troll than I’ve ever been, perhaps he’s one of the best trolls ever. What he’s done, is record a kid’s voice clips throughout the game and then, in another game, has played the voice clips back to the kid who has – unknowingly and stupidly – begun arguing with the voice clip, so he’s basically arguing with himself. It’s pretty funny especially seeing as the kid’s balls haven’t dropped yet and he’s got a voice like some sort of Scottish human-weasel which you just want to spit at. It’s also pretty sad, though, as this kid is obviously too thick to realise he’s arguing with himself and the gaming world has ruined his chances at life.