Sick Chirpse Interviews Showgirl Ayesha Hussain

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SC: Why did you decide to get into the showgirl life?

AH: I began my stage career as a Playboy bunny (not the magazine kind, but the bunny suited shindig hosting kind) in France and Switzerland in my second year of university. Having been scouted, I travelled all over and met some amazing burlesque performers at some of the parties, trying it for myself and realising I was about as competent taking off my clothes on stage as an autistic toddler. I luckily met my trainer Preacher Muad’dib who proceeded to teach me fire artistry and sideshow (which I was thankfully a lot better at!)…four and a half years later, here we are!

SC: What were your first few gigs like?

AH: Well my very first gig, I managed to land the NYE Gala at Crazybear (an awesome chain of restaurants and hotels) and it was incredibly decadent, followed by a few of the gigs we all have to do on the way up. Often a collection of the cabaret equivalent to TK Maxx – an absolute pile of pointless mess scattered with a few, very well hidden offerings of awesomeness.

SC: Sweet analogy. You must have some pretty funny stories to tell.

AH: I have about 12 million and five, the majority of which circulate around backstage conversations of showgirls. Now, I’m sorry to break all your disillusions about pent house forum style pillow fights and make-out sessions ending in pouring champagne all over each other, but the profanity that comes out of the glitter and gin soaked, perfectly made up oral regions of a showgirl would most likely only be rivalled by a group of men post-lifting session playing Call of Duty, in a strip club. However for the sake of retaining the illusion I cannot tell you much more.

SC: What about stories involving the audience?

AH: I’ve had lots of semi dangerous overzealous audience members; once performing in St Tropez and some guy in true French form decided to spray me with champagne… while I was angle grinding with an electronic power tool. Needless to say he was escorted off the premises. Also had people try and take my hammer, staple gun etc when I’m on stage! I think one of the most amusing moments was having a woman decide to play with my hair and attempt to hug me while I stood in front of her table halfway through a routine. Pretty awkward when you’re smoking a cigar and have blood dripping from you (post stapling).

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