The Clacton By-Election Will Be Contested Between Nigel Farage And Count Binface

ByMF Jones

As it currently stands, the Clacton by-election will be contested between Nigel Farage and Count Binface, as every major party is standing down and describing it as a “pathetic stunt”.

Farage stepped down as Clacton MP on Tuesday just so that he could stand again to ‘stick two fingers up to the entire establishment.’

Which is blatantly a stunt to pause/deflect from the ongoing investigation into his undeclared £5m, which would continue if he’s re-elected, but I guess he figures that he’ll cross that bridge when he gets to it.

In any case, Labour, Conservatives, the Lib Dems, the Greens and Restore Britain have all ruled themselves out of running against Farage, as they see the whole thing for what it is.

Not to worry though, because Count Binface is stepping up, telling the other leaders: “Leave him to me.”

Count Binface, who pledges to build at least one affordable house, said: ‘Labour, Tories, Lib Dems and Greens: I demand you stand down in Clacton.

‘I will be a unity candidate and pledge to build at least one affordable house. Nigel Farage says he wants The People versus the Establishment. So be it.’

I mean, Farage has got to be quaking in his boots hearing that, surely? Can you imagine if he actually ends up losing the election to Count Binface? There would be absolutely no coming back from that.

Honestly though, I’d put money on the average Clactonian falling over themselves to ensure Farage is re-elected to his seat, though a well-organised tactical voting campaign behind Binface could do something really funny. Even if Binface runs him close, that would be pretty amusing.

We’ll have to see how it plays out, with Kemi Badenoch insisting her party will only stand in the ‘real by-election’ after the investigation into Farage’s dodgy dealing concludes.

She says: ‘We will not be standing a candidate in the fake by-election that Farage is causing to distract people from what is happening’, she said.

‘We need to let that investigation run its course, and I think the reason why Nigel Farage has resigned is because he’s terrified that he’s going to be found to have done something wrong.

‘The best thing for him to have done would have been to call a press conference and explain what he did with the money, apologise if needs be, and that would have been the end of it.

‘We’re going to focus on getting Britain working again and showing some common sense, not throwing random by-elections out because we’re having a hissy fit.’

A Labour Party spokesperson agreed: ‘Nigel Farage is engulfed in a sleaze scandal and he’s desperately trying to change the subject.

‘It’s pathetic, and the Labour Party is not going to indulge it.

‘Farage should let the parliamentary investigation into his finances run its course and face the consequences.’

Rupert Lowe added:  ‘Restore Britain will stand in the Clacton by-election – the second one – held later this year, when the investigations into Farage’s finances conclude as we all suspect they will.

‘We are not going to participate in a Reform-sponsored media circus over the summer months that is designed to puff up Farage’s ego and deflect away from wholly fair questions over why he has concealed such vast and irregular financial donations.’

And Zack Polanski, leader of the Green Party, said: ‘Nigel Farage is once again trying to con the public with this stunt – trying to duck the fact that his history of taking dodgy donations is finally catching up with him.

‘This is not Nigel Farage vs the establishment, but the establishment’s man against truth, honesty and decency.’

Looks like it truly is up to Count Binface. Good luck, Count!

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