The In-Club Update
“Ivy Skeetle is completely wasted!! Getting on it with the gals!!! You know who you are!! – with Cindi Douchen, Danni Chump and 5 others at Lava Ignite, Oxford.”
If you’re having such an uproarious evening with your nearest and dearest, why is your priority informing a network of associates and acquaintances about the ball you are supposedly having. Surely your primary concern should be flailing at door staff or laying siege to the dance floor.
Furthermore, if you’re so drunk, how have you managed to immaculately type it out and tag everyone. Asny onke wwithn any ser4lf restecp fires out drunken texts with all the accuracy of an uber-dyslexic, infantile badger.
Fall silent you scrote!