4) Groupies

Another common reaction when you tell people you’re in a band is something like “Oooh I bet you get all the girls don’t ya? All them lovely groupies, hey?” If you’re in Boyz II Men or Boyzone perhaps you do get all the ladies. I’m sure Snoop Lion gets his fair share of attention. But if you’re playing in a band smaller than Bon Jovi then you simply don’t. Nothing at all.

One factor that keeps the ladies at bay is the stench issue mentioned above. If a female gets within a couple of feet of you they will certainly be put off. If the female in question is drunk enough to not realise you stink, or to misattribute the smell to someone else then she’s going to be too drunk to stick around long enough for you to pack down your 10 tonnes of equipment any way.

It’s less like this:

… and more like this:

… and to be honest with you, that’s best case scenario. You’re much, much more likely to be totally ignored by everyone, even your band-mates.

The other problem is, you have to be in a good band to be attractive to females, and anyone who’s been to local gigs knows that most bands aren’t any good at all. Not. At. All. Which brings me on to my last point…