4) Cats OWN Sleep
Image VIA
One of the worst things about modern life is having to constantly get out of bed when you don’t want to. Sometimes, if you’re lucky, you’ll get a lie in at the weekend, but you were up late the night before so that doesn’t really count any way. And when you want to go to sleep e.g. during a board meeting or at the in-law’s house – you can’t. No fucking way. Deal with it.
On top of that, when you finally get a chance to grab some extra sleep and you find the time to go to bed early, what happens? How does that go? Shit. You’re all tossing and turning and itchy and twitchy and daydreaming about being trapped in a cold room with Dale Winton and a bunch of snakes.
But cats, well, they’re the lords of sleep. Sleep is their bitch. When they want sleep, they take it. They grab sleep by the throat and they say fuck you bitch, I am taking you for myself, whenever and wherever.
Yes, maybe I will sleep on this laptop whilst she tries to work. Perhaps I will sleep on his head because his breath is warm. I AM CAT AND I DO AS I PLEASE.
