5 Bizarre Rural British Customs That Somehow Still Exist

A Still From The Wicker Man

Here’s a look at some of Britain’s time-honoured country traditions, from the confusing to the downright bizarre…

Britain is a land steeped in thousands of years of history and culture, and nowhere is this rich heritage better reflected than in our traditional rural customs. Although most of them have fallen by the wayside of history, others have been passed down from generation to generation and are alive and well to this day, even in the age of smartphones and high-definition streaming pornography. Some of them are quirky. Some of them are unusual. And some of them are downright fucking mental

5. The Worcestershire Asparagus Festival


People in the genteel English county of Worcestershire like asparagus. And I mean really, really like asparagus. So much so that every year, literally tens of people converge on the small town of Evesham for the Asparafest, a Wicker Man-style cavalcade of orgiastic asparagus consumption featuring Gus the Asparagus Fairy, the cryptically-named Asparamancer (who I can only assume is some kind of warlock who divines the future by means of phallic vegetable spears), and…uh…Henry Sandon.

Henry Sandon

He’s only Homes & Antiques Magazine’s ‘Antiques Personality of the Year’ (2000)!

But that’s not even the craziest part. Tied into this carnival of insanity is the world’s first (and presumably only) asparagus-themed writing competition. I know, right? An asparagus-themed writing competition. How obscure and specialised can you get? Oh, and by the way, did I mention that it’s an asparagus-themed crime writing competition? AND, just to make it even more impossibly specific, the stories have to be set in the Vale of Evesham (yeah, we still have places that sound like they’re in Middle Earth).

☛ More Festival Madness: The Worst Woman At A Festival Ever AKA The Swamp Donkey (Kinda NSFW)

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