In Case You Needed Convincing, Here Are Another 3 Reasons Not To Vote Ukip

Close ties to right-wing fascism, bare-faced lies and a party full of ming mongs.

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The fact that Farage is a plum and his party is full of racists and bigots should be enough to put people off voting for Ukip. But it clearly isn’t. As I see it there are a couple of major reasons why Ukip are still garnering support:

a) Politicians are, almost exclusively, unlikable liars. Ukip offers people a “new direction”, Farage is often seen guffawing in pubs, smoking fags and looking like a true cad and a bounder. On the other hand Clegg and the other misers are generally seen looking grey and crestfallen. This shouldn’t be a reason to vote for Ukip but it seems that it genuinely is.

b) Some of Ukip’s policies don’t look too mad. Farage even says things that some reasonable people might agree with. That’s fair enough. Some of the party’s plans (whether backed by shonky figures or not) might be good for the country. For instance, his plans to hamper construction on green field sites and protect the NHS are all in good taste. But just because some of the party’s ideas are acceptable isn’t enough to put them at the helm.

In case you were thinking of swinging towards a Ukip vote here are 3 solid reasons why you would be a mentalist to consider it.

1) Ukip’s Stance Is Often Bonkers


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Whether you agree with some or just one of Ukip’s ideas it’s important to look at the whole package. Everyone knows the Farage brigade hates the EU. According to them the EU cost the UK taxpayer $8 zillion per nanosecond. It’s a complicated issue and I certainly couldn’t tell you who was right, but because of Ukip’s knee jerk reaction to all things EU they often throw the baby out with the bath water. Here are five of the legislations they have voted against, seemingly out of spite:

1) Updated rules on lorry cab design to ensure they can see cyclists and pedestrians easier.

2) New rules that MEPs have to declare which lobbyist they spoke to before drafting legislation.

3) More transparency in clinical trials data.

4) More protection for UK holidaymakers buying timeshares.

5) Money laundering control measures.

Why are they voting against such sensible measures? Basically, if it’s anything to do with the EU they simply refuse it out of hand which really isn’t particularly grown up. So, what about some things they stand for? We all know they hate the EU and immigrants, but there’s more to England than those two issues surely?

Admittedly these following ideas are from Ukips 2010 manifesto and Farage later referred to them as “drivel”, but still, they were official and this stuff really is mental:

Too Many Foreigners In UK Football Teams

Ukip feels the [lack of success of British teams] is largely a legacy of many British teams having too few British players in the team, and teams like Arsenal have taken to the field in the recent past with none whatsoever … Ukip would place a maximum of three foreign players in the starting line-up, as this would free up places for British players in the youth academies of these teams and spur the future development of home teams.

Dress Nice Please

Ukip will encourage a return to proper dress for major hotels, restaurants and theatres — smarter dress is part of Britishness, although it is also a British virtue to encourage innovation in fashion.

The Most Pointless Change Ever

Ukip would restore imperial measures for all weights and measures, restoring the crown symbol on pint glasses (now illegal under EU rules), safeguarding the mile, allowing the sale of vegetables and fruit in pounds and ounces, restoring acres not hectares, and require all media, businesses, schools and colleges to use imperial alongside metric measurements.

See what I mean? Although they’ve turned away from these ideas now, the people who wrote them and backed them are still in the party’s ranks busily daydreaming about paying for their turnips in shillings.

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