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Osama Bin Laden Had A Massive Porn Stash In His Pakistani Compound

Osama bin Laden Porn

That dirty dirty dog.

Everyone knows that Osama bin Laden was (allegedly) killed in his Pakistani compound a few years ago and that he had been hiding out there for a few years before that, but nobody knew what he was really doing whilst he was there.

Well, it turns out that he must have spent a lot of time watching porn whilst he was there because the Department Of National Intelligence is reporting that there was a humongous stash of porn found in his lair after the raid. This came in all the regular formats – videos, DVDs,  magazines, erotic novels (?) – and was apparently enough to keep him occupied for a very long time. I guess he needed that as he probably would have spent the rest of his life jerking off in the enclosure if he hadn’t been assassinated. I guess you could just call him Osama bin Wankin’ instead.

The DNI is refusing to reveal the details of the porn which is a shame as I’m sure we would all have liked to know just exactly what turned the biggest terrorist the world has ever known on, wouldn’t we? Some spoilsport named Brian Hale had this to say about it:

We have no plans to release that at this point in time. Due to the nature of the content the decision was made not to release it.

Sounds like it could be kind of racy stuff, like goat porn or something. I guess we’ll never know.

The DNI also released a lengthy list of books that were found at the compound. I thought that would be quite interesting, but to be honest it isn’t, except maybe the MKUltra stuff – they’re secret LSD experiments conducted by the CIA if you didn’t know. The full list is below if that floats your boat below the picture of bin Laden looking guilty because he’s been caught bashing the bishop.

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Osama Bin Laden

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  • The 2030 Spike by Colin Mason 
  • A Brief Guide to Understanding Islam by I. A. Ibrahim 
  • America’s Strategic Blunders by Willard Matthias 
  • America’s “War on Terrorism” by Michel Chossudovsky 
  • Al-Qaeda’s Online Media Strategies: From Abu Reuter to Irhabi 007 by Hanna Rogan 
  • The Best Democracy Money Can Buy by Greg Palast 
  • The Best Enemy Money Can Buy by Anthony Sutton 
  • Black Box Voting, Ballot Tampering in the 21st Century by Bev Harris 
  • Bloodlines of the Illuminati by Fritz Springmeier 
  • Bounding the Global War on Terror by Jeffrey Record 
  • Checking Iran’s Nuclear Ambitions by Henry Sokolski and Patrick Clawson 
  • Christianity and Islam in Spain 756-1031 A.D. by C. R. Haines 
  • Civil Democratic Islam: Partners, Resources, and Strategies by Cheryl Benard 
  • Confessions of an Economic Hit Man by John Perkins 
  • Conspirators’ Hierarchy: The Committee of 300 by John Coleman 
  • Crossing the Rubicon by Michael Ruppert 
  • Fortifying Pakistan: The Role of U.S. Internal Security Assistance (only the book’s introduction) by C. Christine Fair and Peter Chalk 
  • Guerilla Air Defense: Antiaircraft Weapons and Techniques for Guerilla Forces by James Crabtree 
  • Handbook of International Law by Anthony Aust 
  • Hegemony or Survival: America’s Quest for Global Dominance by Noam Chomsky 
  • Imperial Hubris by Michael Scheuer 
  • In Pursuit of Allah’s Pleasure by Asim Abdul Maajid, Esaam-ud-Deen and Dr. Naahah Ibrahim 
  • International Relations Theory and the Asia-Pacific by John Ikenberry and Michael Mastandano 
  • Killing Hope: U.S. Military and CIA Interventions since World War II by William Blum 
  • Military Intelligence Blunders by John Hughes-Wilson 
  • Project MKULTRA, the CIA’s program of research in behavioral modification. Joint hearing before the Select Committee on Intelligence and the Subcommittee on Health and Scientific Research of the Committee on Human Resources, United States Senate, Ninety-fifth Congress, first session, August 3, 1977. United States. Congress. Senate. Select Committee on Intelligence. 
  • Necessary Illusions: Thought Control in Democratic Societies by Noam Chomsky 
  • New Pearl Harbor: Disturbing Questions about the Bush Administration and 9/11 by David Ray Griffin 
  • New Political Religions, or Analysis of Modern Terrorism by Barry Cooper 
  • Obama’s Wars by Bob Woodward 
  • Oxford History of Modern War by Charles Townsend 
  • The Rise and Fall of the Great Powers by Paul Kennedy 
  • Rogue State: A Guide to the World’s Only Superpower by William Blum 
  • The Secret Teachings of All Ages by Manly Hall (1928) 
  • Secrets of the Federal Reserve by Eustace Mullins 
  • The Taking of America 1-2-3 by Richard Sprague 
  • Unfinished Business, U.S. Overseas Military Presence in the 21st Century by Michael O’Hanlon 
  • The U.S. and Vietnam 1787-1941 by Robert Hopkins Miller 
  • “Website Claims Steve Jackson Games Foretold 9/11,” article posted on ICV2.com (this file contained only a single saved web page)

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