We Asked UKIP And The BNP Where They Source Their ‘Patriotic’ Merchandise From

Shock horror.

As the EU referendum draws nearer, there’s a lot of talk focused around job security for British citizens and the majority of this anti-immigration spiel comes from the more patriotic and right winged amongst us. You don’t even need to Google “EDL rally” to know that many nationalists loudly and proudly wear the union jack as part of their wardrobe but with the majority of cheap clothes being mass produced in sweatshops in overseas countries such as Bangladesh and China, it would be super hypocritical to find that they were cheating an honest UK citizen out of a job purely to wear the flag they love so dearly.

We went undercover to get in contact with three of the main perpetrators on the nationalist merchandise scene to pester them over where there t-shirts originate.

The Patriot Store


Usually when you ask a brand for help they tend to respond via phone or email but for some reason the Patriot Store automatically signs you up to their extremely tacky customer support website. Thankfully we used an alternative email address whilst writing to these e-commerce websites because the last thing we need is to end up on sort of dodgy database. If the sites got hacked and our information leaked, we would never live it down.

Not only was the whole process of logging in really frustrating but the bastards never got back to us. After changing the priority tab from low to urgent and waiting many days, we, perhaps they realised that they couldn’t give me a straightforward answer as they’d been caught out or maybe they couldn’t actually figure out how to work their own bastard help site.



Our inquisitive online alter ego was desperately eager to purchase a wonderful “Say NO Believe In Britain” top directly from the UKIP store but we had qualms as to where the item originated. After emailing ahead to check, we received this message back:

The T-Shirts are not made in Britain, but are purchased from a UK Company (Printbridge of Bodmin, Cornwall), who source and print them.

Best regards


Apparently they don’t believe in Britain all that much after all. We’ll have to say no to this one. At least they had the decency to get back to us though.

Excalibur Merchandise

Excalibur Merchandise is essentially a one stop shop for everything racist. When we emailed them to enquire as to whether they stock – specifically an eye catching t-shirt that featured a charming print of a polar bear accompanied by the slogan “It’s Cool To Be White” – they had this to say:


I buy the un-printed t shirts from a company in Derby who put a special coating on the shirt that enables me to print on them.

As you know it is almost impossible to buy any t shirt that is fully made in UK, but the printing process is carried out by me.

Thanks for your e-mail.


At least we can safely say that people aren’t ordering enough “Dear Santa, All We Want Is Our Country Back” tees for Alwyn to have to hire a team. That’s reassuring.

Not only is Excalibur the primary location for all things endorsed by British National Party and sketchy books on imperialism, but they also sell the infamously racially insensitive Golliwog dolls. Perhaps we Brits are totally useless after all if “Victory Song by Joey Smith” is the best example the BNP could put out on their label Great White Records, no wonder we can’t even craft a simple t-shirt between us as a nation.

The recording quality of this so called music video is also shockingly bad. Has he filmed this on a Sony Ericsson flip phone? Maybe he should’ve asked infamously racist vlogger Wild Bill to ship his decent camera over from the US.

Although it’s disheartening to know that these plain unprinted t-shirts that could’ve had literally anything else printed onto them are likely to be mass produced abroad by the foreigners that these moronic people despise so much, at least we can still have a bit of a laugh at all the bozos spending their hard earned pound sterling on these stupid things. Maybe we should start a petition for these poor tees to be rehabilitated and transformed into these badly translated t-shirts in Asia.


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