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The University Sex League Results 2014 Are In – How Did Your Uni Finish?

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Here goes…

Amazing. Student Beans actually runs some kind of survey which has enabled them to determine which university within the United Kingdom has the most sex. In fact, it’s not just determining which university has the most sex, it actually ranks all the universities in order. I don’t know how they determine this – other than by just asking people who attend said university but SURELY everyone is going to lie when asked how many people they’ve had sex with (both girls and guys – remember the rule of three in American Pie?) – but it seems like they’re pretty proud of it and they see it as a legitimate authoritative list.

You can check out the full list below but let’s take a couple of minutes to talk about the winners first, and also just how much more promiscuous people seem to have been this year as opposed to last year. Last year, the University Of Roehampton picked up the dubious honour, with the average student having 6.32 sexual partners since they rolled in on the first day of school, whenever that was. Amazingly though, a score of 6.32 this year wouldn’t even place you in the top ten and the gong goes to Brighton University with a whopping 10.59 sexual partners. That place is a slutty town though so it isn’t that surprising.

I don’t know how the hell the huge increase in promiscuity that seems to have occurred nationwide has happened (oh wait, yeah I do – people are lying about how many people they’ve slept with) or whether it’s a good thing (probably not because being young dumb and full of cum isn’t a good look for anyone really) but it seems like it’s got no signs of stopping and it’s probably going to affect a whole bunch of university’s intake levels next year. If it goes up again at this rate then the winners next year will have slept with around 17 people during their university time which is actually kind of gross when you actually stop and think about it for a second, especially now that I’m slightly older.

If you’re finishing sixth form though and you’re heading to Brighton, Chester, Southampton Solent, Liverpool Hope, London QM or Essex next year though it looks like you’ve got a good chance of getting some and you’re probably going to be buzzing when you see these results. It’s just a shame that almost all of those places and universities completely suck though – still you probably won’t notice as you’ll be too busy sleeping with everyone else there to even notice. Just make sure you’re careful though because you really don’t wanna be knocking anyone up or getting an STD.

If you’re heading to Bath or the University of Bedforshire though you should probably start planning on visiting your friends at other universities ASAP.

☛ More Sex: Fresher’s Guide To University Life

Rank University No. of sexual partners per student
1 University of Brighton 10.59
2 University of Chester 9.94
3 Liverpool Hope University 9.57
4 Southampton Solent University 8.63
5 Queen Mary, University of London 7.93
6 University of Essex 7.61
7 Oxford Brookes University 7.42
8 Edinburgh Napier University 7.35
9 University of Central Lancashire 7.03
10 University of Bristol 7.03
11 University of Dundee 6.74
12 Nottingham Trent University 6.69
13 Manchester Metropolitan University 6.65
14 Swansea University 6.55
15 University of Strathclyde 6.46
16 Sheffield Hallam University 6.38
17 Roehampton University 6.30
18 University of Cumbria 6.18
19 Birmingham City University 6.06
20 King’s College London, University of London 6.00
21 University of Glamorgan 5.98
22 Leeds Metropolitan University 5.92
23 University of Oxford 5.89
24 University of Warwick 5.88
25 University of Plymouth 5.87
26 Imperial College London 5.82
27 Northumbria University 5.79
28 Edge Hill University 5.68
29 University College London 5.61
30 Queen’s University Belfast 5.47
31 University of Bath 5.47
32 Liverpool John Moores University 5.44
33 Heriot-Watt University 5.39
34 Aberystwyth University 5.38
35 Keele University 5.25
36 University of Portsmouth 5.23
37 Bangor University 5.22
38 University of Birmingham 5.19
39 Goldsmiths, University of London 5.19
40 University of Wales Institute, Cardiff 5.18
41 Cardiff University 5.15
42 Bournemouth University 5.13
43 University of Manchester 5.13
44 University of Hull 5.10
45 University of Kent 5.10
46 University of Glasgow 4.93
47 Staffordshire University 4.87
48 University of Gloucestershire 4.84
49 University of Westminster 4.82
50 University of Winchester 4.81
51 University of Liverpool 4.80
52 York St John University 4.80
53 Bristol, University of the West of England 4.77
54 University of Cambridge 4.70
55 University of Sheffield 4.69
56 Kingston University 4.69
57 University of St Andrews 4.67
58 University of Worcester 4.60
59 Newcastle University 4.59
60 Loughborough University 4.48
61 University of Sussex 4.48
62 University of East London 4.47
63 Buckinghamshire New University 4.36
64 University of York 4.35
65 University of Reading 4.33
66 University of Stirling 4.30
67 University of Leeds 4.28
68 Robert Gordon University 4.27
69 University of Wolverhampton 4.27
70 University for the Creative Arts 4.21
71 Brunel University 4.20
72 Coventry University 4.11
73 University of Northampton 4.11
74 University of Exeter 4.07
75 University of Derby 4.06
76 University of Salford 4.05
77 Lancaster University 4.00
78 University of Sunderland 4.00
79 University of Southampton 3.99
80 University of Hertfordshire 3.93
81 University of Aberdeen 3.82
82 Aston University 3.72
83 University of Bradford 3.70
84 Anglia Ruskin University 3.69
85 University of East Anglia 3.65
86 University of Lincoln 3.61
87 Durham University 3.60
88 London School of Economics and Political Science 3.55
89 Queen Margaret University, Edinburgh 3.47
90 University of Nottingham 3.41
91 London South Bank University 3.33
92 University of Edinburgh 3.31
93 Royal Holloway, University of London 3.28
94 University of Abertay Dundee 3.23
95 De Montfort University 3.22
96 Royal Veterinary College 3.22
97 University College Falmouth 3.21
98 Open University 3.14
99 Glasgow Caledonian University 3.07
100 University of Greenwich 3.06
101 University of Surrey 3.02
102 Middlesex University 3.00
103 University of Huddersfield 2.92
104 University of Leicester 2.89
105 Canterbury Christ Church University 2.83
106 Teesside University 2.82
107 University of Bedfordshire 2.74
108 University of the West of Scotland 2.62
109 Bath Spa University 2.57

☛ More Sex: Man Caught Having Sex With Bike On CCTV

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