I’m not really sure what my sex life is going to be like when I reach the age of 52, but I’m fairly sure I’m not going to be writing in national newspapers that I haven’t had sex for five years and then telling everyone when I did it again.
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I suppose in fairness nobody gives a shit about my sex life and probably never will, but it’s probably slightly different for Ulrikka Jonsson, who has decided to share details of her first sexual encounter in over five years with The Sun. She had previously spoken about how she hadn’t had sex with her husband Brian Monet for five years and how this led to their divorce after eleven years of marriage, but revealed how this had left her anxious and nervous about doing it again with someone else.
Turns out it wasn’t that big a deal, as she wrote the following:
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I had to be truthful about my lack of sex action over the past years and genuinely had no idea whether I would remember what to do or even how to do it.
I actually wondered quietly to myself, in moments of nagging self-doubt, that I might not have remembered how to kiss.
I physically and emotionally woke up.
The idea that I would even be capable of feeling aroused again had been so unbelievable that I felt quite shocked when it happened.
The only way I can describe it is as if my body had been completely shut down and someone had come along with a defibrillator (not a euphemism, by the way) and suddenly I was brought back to life.
It is not my intention to massage said person’s ego but I guess we made a connection and it entirely revived me.
This was not about being in a relationship. It could have been one of many dates I might have had — the person is irrelevant. It is what happened that kind of changed a lot of things.
What I discovered is that I had NOT forgotten how to ride a bike (euphemism, for sure).
I was capable of the same sexual feelings and gratification as I had when I used to have an active sex life. My strength of feeling had not waned.
It was completely possible to be caught up in the moment and forget that my breasts were not what they used to be, that my bum was a bit bigger and considerably less pert, and that there were saggy bits of skin in unforgiving places.
But the fact was, all the bits that needed to work did.
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The voice in my head, which had been so full of doubt, reluctance and fear for so long, was not silenced, but did become quieter.
I listened to my body instead of my inner voice — and that might have been the key.
I joke that it was like losing my virginity all over again — except this time I felt much more in control and considerably less scared.
This was not our first date, but I knew the first time I met him that I was attracted to him.
I knew by the time we met the second time that I was ready.
There was no doubt in my mind, which was a giant leap from feeling utterly dead inside and unwanted to then feeling desired and desiring.
But what was most revelatory for me was not having sex again, it was the renewal of intimacy and a profound realisation of how much I had missed human affection.
Closeness and the power of touch were nothing short of overwhelming. It was a revelation.
I joke that it was like losing my virginity all over again — except this time I felt much more in control and considerably less scared.
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I mean that does sound like it was quite a big deal to her to be fair, and I guess she has every right to share this story after feeling like she would never have sex again. I mean if someone like Ulrika Jonsson can feel like that, then it’s highly likely that a whole bunch of people can do as well, so it’s good for them to know that her story didn’t end in complete and utter despair but with her getting laid and sounding like she wants to do it a whole bunch more. You go girl.
For more of the same, check out when Ulrika Jonsson made an add for a dating app and it got banned. Naughty.
