2. Club Loyalty

Now this is my absolute least favourite England fan of all time. I’ll admit club loyalty is something that is hard to ignore and I personally feel like some of the blame is on my shoulders when a Liverpool player makes a mistake for England, like Gerrard against Uruguay, the same as I feel that extra bit of an absolute fucking hero when Sturridge scored against Italy, but this type of fan is a bit different.

This fan backs the England team with full support until the expected happens – England play shit -then goes on to explain why we would’ve been fucking brilliant if Lampard played instead of Gerrard, Terry came back as captain, and Ashley Cole was left back — this example clearly being that of a Chelsea fan. I’ve even seen Liverpool fans going on about Suarez like they’re happier with the fact that he performed than seeing England get a result. Bullshit.

As stated before, I am a Liverpool fan, but I simply can’t justify any other Liverpool fan being happy with the outcome of the Uruguay game due to the fact our star player embarrassed us, therefore proving to the world how good he is. We all know how fucking good he is already (maybe not Hodgson if you see his comments earlier that week) but don’t support England until it all fucks up then just jump back into club loyalty, stating your case for why more players from your team would’ve won England the World Cup. Let’s face it — we are not good enough no matter who we pick.

1. The Realistic England Fan

This is the fan that falls in between the optimistic fan and the seasoned veteran. This fan pretty much doesn’t exist.