There’s nothing better than going away on holiday, taking time to relax, unwind and get away from the harsh realities of your shitty job.
Choosing your destination can be a bit tricky though, with so many stunningly beautiful places in the world to visit how are we supposed to visit narrow it down to just one location. Barbados? Spain? How about North Korea? I’ve heard it’s lovely this time of year.
Yes my friends, that’s right. The news we have all been waiting for has finally landed. Pack your bags, we’re off to fucking North Korea.
For the mere price of just £1,525 (and that’s NOT including flights) you can enjoy 9 days in the world’s most secretive state, taking in everything that the beautiful land and it’s bat shit crazy dictator have to offer. Bargain.
As a guest in this weird and wonderful country you can expect to be constantly watched from government-selected tour guides who basically take you where they want (I suspect they’ll leave out the bad bits). Tourists are strictly forbidden from travelling round on their own because who knows what they might stumble upon — like, the truth.
The package also includes an entry into the “incredible” Pyongyang marathon. Some holiday, that. Fuck lying on a beach sipping cocktails, let’s go to North Korea and run around like idiots. Ideal.
Other highlights on the trip include a visit to the demilitarised zone at the border with their West-loving neighbours South Korea, a tour of a North Korean university, a visit to the abandoned village of Panmunjom and the chance to see a ship which they captured off the Americans in the 1960s. Not really a destination for that lads holiday you’re planning for next year then, probably best just to go to Ibiza and feed a seagull some ket.
If North Korea does sound like your kind of holiday then you can book up through Intrepid Travel (you’re also bat shit crazy). You’ll need a squad of ten people as a minimum though, so you best put it in the group chat quick and see who is game.
If it’s not for you or you don’t fancy forking out a small fortune for the trip, you can just sit at home and flick through these photos of North Korea that Kim Jong-Un didn’t want you to see.