We’ve all had that day when there’s absolutely nothing vaguely interesting on TV at all, you’ve exhausted your options completely and you’re even fed up with watching questionably dressed and potentially inbred couples trying to out wit one another on the Jeremy Kyle show. If you’re a student these days seem to come around far too often, and if you’re a professional these days are just too few and too far in between. Whether you look forward to these bittersweet days or not there is one thing that each of us have in common, whether you like it or not, you end up watching Man VS Food.
You know, the show with the obnoxiously over hyped American foodie who seems to have a death wish. Well it seems to find it’s way onto any TV screen at some point in time, some people like it for the laughably sized portions that one man attempts to destroy, or you may be the type who likes it because it makes you feel a lot better about eating that whole tub of Ben & Jerry’s when those midnight munchies kicked in.
However for all of the repulsive scenes and piercing screams of encouragement the show does bring one appealing aspect to the table, and sadly it’s actually the food. Although it is indeed a disgusting waste and it kills you to see enough beef to make a spag-bol for 10 go into one burger, the shameful truth is you know you want to try it.
When the waiter brings up Adam’s 72oz quadruple honey glazed bacon burger with super large fries, every meat lover’s mouth salivates at the idea of even smelling the burger from a far. However unless you want to fork out around a grand to fly over to our neighbours across the pond you haven’t got much of a chance. That is, unless you’re a Sick Chirpse reader who’s sat there reading this article a few minutes away from planning your next adventure to your very own White Castle. Sick Chirpse are here to curb your munchies with just a few of the UK’s most mouth-wartering food challenges, with meals across the country. So wherever you are you won’t be to far from a disgusting and fairly degrading consumption challenge.
The Hobgoblin, Bristol – Kraken Burger
There aren’t many words I could think of to describe this meal, I mean it really is as disgustingly large as it looks. Even the thesaurus I found on Google told me to do one when it came to describing this edible heart attack.
Basically if you want to be toilet ridden for the forceable future then this is the way to do it, all you need to do is finish the 3 7oz burgers, 2 hash browns, a load of pulled pork & cheese, 15 chicken wings, a larger than life portion of chips covered with more pulled pork & cheese, a massive pile of coleslaw and of course the accompanying sauces, and yes you have to do all that in 45 minutes.
Now although there is no question that myself along with almost any other bloke I know would love to take this health threatening challenge on, it really is just a bad idea. It will hurt and you will regret it, but if you are fully on one then Hobgoblins is your place. The Kraken Burger is £25 and free if you finish it. Of course an accompanying t-shirt comes with that moral victory and gut twisting pain you feel.