A couple of years ago, 44-year-old Mohammed Abad made history by being fitted with a £70,000 eight inch prosthetic penis, after he lost his back in a traffic accident when he was just six years old.
Abad wasted no time and immediately lost his virginity to a kind prostitute (his bionic penis gets erect when he pushes a button on his stomach and it fills with liquid) but since then he hasn’t gone out shagging everything that moves as you might expect from someone who’s just managed to lose their virginity. Instead, Abad says despite being inundated with offers from multiple women, that he’s too tired from his job as a security guard to take them up on it:
I get a lot of messages from women online who ask me if I will have sex with them.
They’ve heard about my bionic penis and they want to try it out. They are all very intrigued and think I can make love for hours.
It’s not that I don’t want to and I get offers, but I have been so busy with work. I work 14-hour shifts every day and by the time I get home I’m just too tired for sex.
Man, what an ungrateful lazy dude. You would think someone that received a bionic penis would be out making the most of it, rather than working as a security guard and depriving the thousands of women that are after a piece of it from experiencing it in all its glory.
There is some good news though and it looks like Abad might be dusting off the old relic sometime soon as his parents are apparently on the lookout for a second wife for him. His first one left him because he was unable to consummate the marriage – fair enough really I suppose – so it looks like he’ll have to start using it if he wants his second to be a success.
He should definitely have to anyway, I fell like he’s truly depriving the world of something special with the way he’s acting at the moment. I mean he’s already had surgery to make it smaller so I feel like he’s really being a bit of a dickhead about the whole thing. Go enjoy your bionic penis instead of complaining about it all the time dude.