It seems like we’ll be talking about Coronavirus/COVID-19/whatever you want to call it for the rest of our lives such has been its impact and devastation on our way of life, but I didn’t think that this would ever branch out into the realms of pornography or erotic fiction.
Featured Image VIA
This is exactly how someone called M.J. Edwards has sought to take advantage of the situation by releasing a book entitled ‘Kissing The Coronavirus’ about a female scientist named Alexa who was tasked with finding a cure for the Coronavirus but instead…..ends up falling in love with it. Not really sure of the practicalities of that, but the book has been receiving five star reviews across the board on Amazon thanks to its graphic descriptions of erotic situations.
Thankfully, a bunch of people have decided to put some of the best quotes on Twitter meaning that I don’t actually have to waste my time reading this book. Check it out:
tw // nsfw !!
“Despite the devastation the virus was causing across the globe, Alexa felt a rush of excitement every time she picked up the Corona sample, like a pulsating, erect penis, desperate to unleash its devastation to anyone who touched it.” PLEASEEEEEEEEEALKHKJSA
— flore 💌 rhi lovebot (@peachsephone) September 29, 2020
tw // nsfw
“Even the sound of the virus made her ovaries clash together like cymbals.”
— flore 💌 rhi lovebot (@peachsephone) September 29, 2020
“”What’s your name?” She asked. “Call me Covid,” he replied.” THIS IS THE BEST ONE GOODBYE
— flore 💌 rhi lovebot (@peachsephone) September 29, 2020
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.
“Dr Alexa Ashingtonford stared at the test tube between her fingers, HER PERFECTLY PINK MANICURED NAILS clashing with the pale, bubbling liquid inside.”
That’s the first sentence.
It’s going to be awesome.— myk-myk (@Krolowa_Margot) September 29, 2020
what the fuck
“Dr Gurtlychubd was small and had a funny moustache, but after having been stuck in a lab with him for so long, so deprived of a HOT MAN-DOG inside her lubricated PUSSY-BUN, she had even considered asking him if he’d be interested in a quick bit of sex.”— myk-myk (@Krolowa_Margot) September 29, 2020
“and because Alexa had huge boobies, a thick ass and nice legs”
Of course she had, of course she had.— myk-myk (@Krolowa_Margot) September 29, 2020
“Even the sound of the virus made her ovaries clash together like cymbals.”
I can’t. I just CAN’T.— myk-myk (@Krolowa_Margot) September 29, 2020
“Wind whipped around the lab, lashing Alexa’s hair back and forth and shaking her ample breasts.”
— myk-myk (@Krolowa_Margot) September 29, 2020
So.
Dr Bob, our lovely MC’s co-worker, who has coronavirus, inject himself with a “vaccination”. And boom! Suddenly he is green and sexy af and has “a bulge in his trousers the size of a medium-lenght python.”— myk-myk (@Krolowa_Margot) September 29, 2020
“She flet his convulsing member against her waistm it was so long and warm and fat, like an arm without the bones.”
sweet Jesus— myk-myk (@Krolowa_Margot) September 29, 2020
“His tounge, so soft and hitz LIKE A CHYNK OF MICROWAVED FISH, sloshing inside her mouth.”
I am ready to bawk, ngl— myk-myk (@Krolowa_Margot) September 29, 2020
“He had, undoubtedly, taken her breath away.”
— myk-myk (@Krolowa_Margot) September 29, 2020
“And she closed her eyes.
And she rested.
And rested.
And -“— myk-myk (@Krolowa_Margot) September 29, 2020
And that’s the end.
I can’t believe that I read it.
I have no self respect and no self control.
I feel sick.— myk-myk (@Krolowa_Margot) September 29, 2020
Wow. It kind of reminds me of the episode of ‘Friends’ where Rachel decides she wants to write an erotic novel and needs 30 different words she can use instead of ‘penis’ in the book. In fact, it’s exactly like that.
Feel kinda sorry for anyone that actually read this book and probably even more sorry for M.J. Edwards having to write it. I presume that she’s in on the joke and realises how awful it all is though as well.
For more of the same, check out this erotic book called ‘Pounded By The Pound’ about the effect of Brexit on the UK economy. Or something.
