So we’re just chilling, having a nice little Sunday, prepping some fire blogs to drop on the Internet when suddenly we’re getting lit up with Tweets, FB messages, e-mails, carrier pigeons, all alerting us to the fact our servers have just been breached.
Who would do something like that on a fucking Sunday? A rival website? Anonymous? 4chan? Nah mate — motherfucking ISIS.
Theoe pricks basically took over our site and plastered this message all over Sick Chirpse:
OH HELL NO ISIS. You’ve really done it now. After all the publicity we gave you, after all the blogs we wrote about you, this is how you repay us? Now you’ve got 150,000+ Sick Chirpse fans all over the world trying to log onto the site and they can’t. Do you even know how many pageviews that is ISIS? We’ve got readers in India trekking for miles in their bare feet to the Internet cafÃ© just so they can read up on our blogs and take the news back to their friends living in the shanties. We’ve got people in the mountains of Japan hiking to the cliff edge and holding up their phones just so they can get that tiny bit of reception needed to view whatever mad shit we’ve written about Japan this week. We’re like BBC News 24/7 over there, everyone knows that.
How about sorting out your grimy toilets or teaching your ISIS youngsters about getting catfished before hacking websites that take the time to write shit about you. If anything Sick Chirpse should be heralded as ISIS heroes. This is more outrageous than the UAE just outright banning people from getting on Sick Chirpse. You don’t treat heroes this way.
Anyway, it’s too late for apologies. Good thing we were able to salvage 5 years of sweat, tears and blogging that would otherwise have vanished forever. Classic blogs like Top 5 Types Of Stoner and the Ultimate Guide to The Deep Web. Those motherfuckers don’t write themselves you know.
P.S. Is it possible that this is just some lonely geek who hacked us on his ones and is pretending to be a part of ISIS? Most probably. Still, fuck ISIS.