Rihanna Thinks She’s Bigger Than Leo; Demands He Lose Weight Immediately

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The world was shaken to its very core last month, with a collective eruption of 6-7 billion people all jizzing at once, when the news dropped that Rihanna and Leo DiCaprio had been hooking up in secret and having probably the hottest sex possible for mankind to have. I just came 3 times just writing that sentence. Whoops oh shit just came again. That’s how hot these two are and if you disagree you must be out of your mind with jealousy.

Well apparently one of Rihanna’s friend hit up IB Times and told them that Rihanna had confided in her that Leo was “a lot flabbier than her usual lovers”, and that she wants him to lose some weight.

Leo Ri Ri

According to IB Times, Leo is totally cool with it though:

“Leo thinks it’s all highly amusing,” the insider said. “He’s never had a girl tell him what to do, so you can imagine how much he’s loving it.”

“She wants him to get a six-pack,” the source added.

Who the hell does Rihanna think she is? Asking Leo DiCaprio to lose weight? Asking Leo DiCaprio to work on his aesthetics? Who does that? Was she baked off her nut when she said it? Listen Leo DiCaprio bangs super models on the regs. Leo DiCaprio flies supermodels to private islands and makes sweet Leo love to them one by one to ring in the new year. Leo’s not going to lose the flab for Rihanna. Leo’s not going to lose the flab for anyone. He’s just not that into you. Leo does what he wants, when he wants, to whomever he wants, and that’s just a fact.

Sort it out Rihanna.

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