Noel Edmonds’ Career Change Proves He’s Having A Complete Breakdown


No deal.

Obviously we’ve all been a bit worried about Noel Edmonds ever since ‘Deal or No Deal’ got cancelled. That show was like a home to him and I just don’t know what he’s going to do now that he can’t shoot the shit with the banker everyday.

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And it seems like we were right to worry, as his latest career move proves that he is going through some sort of breakdown. Noel Edmonds has launched a motivational phone service for pets. Yes, you read that right.

The new venture, which is completely free of charge, will see Noel calling and speaking to your pet. All you need to do is fill out a form and he’ll be on it. According to the website ‘Noel World’, he will provide a one-to-one motivational lecture to your furry friend:


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I want to make these precious chums feel important and appreciated. It’s amazing how a simple brief phone call can pick up the spirits of the most dejected hamster, the most stressed goldfish and the most neurotic cat.

Please allow me to call your pet and offer positive words of appreciation and motivation.

Yeah alright mate, pipe down. It might seem like a joke but everywhere is saying this is fully legit, which draws the conclusion that Noel’s having a full on break down. There’s no other explanation.


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What the hell is he even going to say to the animals? Who would sign up for this? And how is he going to make any money from it? Unless he’s decided that he’s got enough money and he just wants to chat to animals all day. In that case, fairs.

Anyway, this isn’t the first time Noel’s had a bit of a wobbly. Anyone remember when he said that WiFi is a bigger problem than AIDS and Ebola? Yeah alright mate.


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