New McDonald’s CEO Unveils Plans To Make McDonald’s Healthy

It’s a new day.

New McDonald’s CEO Steve Easterbrook laid out plans yesterday to transform the actual quality of the food they serve in McDonald’s restaurants over the next two years, as opposed to the old CEO Don Thompson whose tactic was to try and convince people that McDonald’s wasn’t actually all that bad for them.

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Easterbrook promised that within two years the only chickens used in Mac D’s would be “raised without antibiotics important to human medicine” and they’d only use milk from cows that are not treated with artificial growth hormones. It’s a start, but obviously they’ll have to do more than that to satisfy the increasingly healthy standards people expect from food nowadays.

Fat Kid

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At the same time though, who goes to McDonald’s to eat healthy? It’s where you go when you’re baked off your face and want to pick up some nuggets and fries at the drive-through. It’s where you go when you’re hungover and want something completely gross and delicious to perk yourself up a bit. It’s where you go when you’ve given up on life and don’t care about getting fat and clogging up your arteries with milkshake from cows that have been injected with and fed all kinds of artificial nastiness.

But if they want to go down the healthy route, fine. We had a good run together Maccy D’s. I guess there’s always Burger King.


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