I’m very aware that back pain becomes a serious problem for most people at some point in their lives, but I don’t think that I would ever inject myself with my own semen in order to try and solve it. Just take up yoga or something.
Featured Image VIA
Anyway, this is the course that one unnamed 33 year old decided to follow in Tallaght, Ireland for some unknown reason – there’s literally no medical journals or advice anywhere that would recommend that procedure and I think anyone with any semblance of common sense would realise that it’s a bad idea as well. Nevertheless, this dude proceeded to do it to himself for 18 months with a hypodermic needles that he had purchased online.
Needless to say, the ‘treatment’ didn’t work and actually left the guy in a much worse situation than the one he started in. Dr. Lisa Dunne of Adelaide and Meath Hospital in Tallaght explained what happened in a report titled ”Semenly’ Harmless Back Pain: An Unusual Presentation of a Subcutaneous Abscess (great pun) and this is what his arm looked like:
The man developed a subcutaneous abscess after intravenously injecting his own semen in an attempt to treat longstanding back pain.
This saw him develop emphysema and oedema – excess watery fluid – under his skin.
The case highlights the dangers of venepuncture when carried out by the untrained layperson as well as the vascular and soft tissue hazards surrounding the attempted injection of substances not intended for intravenous use.
Not really sure what any of that means but it doesn’t sound that great does it? Kinda make me think that the guy had loads of semen sloshing around underneath his skin which is making me screw up my face in disgust just typing this. Why would anyone even try that as a cure?
My favourite thing about this story though is just imagining this guy talking to the doctors and explaining what he’s done to them. How the hell would that go down and how the hell would you react to someone telling you that? Probably with everyone looking at each other how I described my face to look. Awkward.
18 months man, 18 months. That’s a long time to believe in something so weird.
For more of the same, check out this story about a 56 year old man throwing semen over a woman in an Asda car park. Weirdo.