Man Dies At Sperm Bank After Wanking Too Much

You better warn your buddies right now.

This is just tragic. Trainee doctor Zheng Gang — whose friends had actually nicknamed him Gang Bang because he loved porn so much — died after spending two hours inside a booth at a sperm bank set up at Huazhong University in Wuhan, China. It was his 4th visit in 10 days.

When staff went to check on him, they found him dead on the floor. He was in excellent health, so his death is completely baffling.

Gang’s family took the sperm bank — which provides donated sperm for infertility treatment — to court saying they were responsible for allowing him to masturbate himself to death. However the court ruled that 23 year old Gang was perfectly capable of making his own decisions in life, including how much he wanked. I guess that’s a fair argument, though Gang’s family insist he was under pressure to join the program.

So in the last few months, we’ve met a weed dealer named Paul Stoner, a guy named Christopher Reeve who was arrested in a Superman T-shirt, and now a dude named Gang Bang who died while masturbating. It’s a funny world out there — but obviously at the same time, not that funny.

If Gang Bang had died during an actual gang bang, maybe the tone could’ve been a little different. Or maybe if he had parents like these, he’d have been put off masturbating altogether.


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