It’s amazing how something can go through thousands of years of evolution and wind up an immobile rock with guts living off the coast of Chile and Peru. These rocks spend their days sucking water through the earth and filtering out microorganisms – that’s when they’re not being eaten by the locals (who describe the taste as “bitter” and “soapy”) and presented as freak shows online.
Another fun fact about these meat-rocks – they reproduce by “selfing”, which is as wonderful a euphemism as we’ve ever heard for being able to have hermaphroditic self-relations. That’s something to ponder next time you come across any rocks laying all seemingly innocent on the ground.
The discovery of these living, breathing rocks poses the question – why do they exist? Seriously, why do they exist other than to freak us all out and provide some what-the-fuck-is-it discourse. If I was stranded on a desert island I’d rather eat my left arm with a side of sun-dried sand before eating this slimy beast.