Scientists Have Created A Robot That Holds Your Hand Like A Girlfriend

Found your Christmas present.

Are you a sad, lonely, pathetic loser? Well have I got the perfect gift for you – a robot that makes it feel like you’re holding an actual human girlfriend’s hand.

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Scientists from Japan’s Gifu University have built the robot hand, dubbed ‘Osampa Kanojo’ (rougly translated to ‘My Strolling Bride’), for men to clasp when they feel lonely. The robot is meant to feel and smell like a romantic partner from the forearm down.

Here’s how it all works, according by HITZ:

At a primary look, the Strolling Bride would possibly seem to be only a hand-shaped piece of silicone, however it’s really a reasonably refined piece of equipment. A particular rail, mounted across the Bride’s elbow, is designed to imitate push and pull motions, simulating the burden of an individual that might be connected to an actual hand.

The machine’s smooth skin-like exterior maintains the temperature of a human physique, with synthetic pores expressing liquid to create synthetic sweat.

The pretend girlfriend may even be paired with a smartphone app that performs the sound of a lady’s footsteps. It’s also scented with a particular fragrance mixture of cleaning soap and cosmetics, designed to mimic the odor of an actual lady’s pores and skin.

Synthetic sweat? Wow they’ve really gone all out to make this thing as realistic as possible. But who really wants to hold onto a sweaty palm? That’s gross enough when it’s your girlfriend’s palm, let alone a robot’s. If you want to go for realism why not fit this robot with some audio of a woman complaining about some cow at work or her friend who has started getting a big head? The sweaty palms we can do without!

In any case, I think we all know what this invention is leading to. I mean the Japanese are way ahead of the game when it comes to sex robots anyway, but if they can now make them sweat out of fake pores, who knows what other synthetic fluids can be implemented? You just know there are a bunch of Japanese dudes out there already who are going to have sex with this robot hand as it is. It’s basically a glorified wanking machine.

Funnily enough they would probably sell a lot more if they marketed it as such. Just come out and say it, Japanese scientists. After all, who even holds hands anymore? Time to take this thing to the next level.

For the men at a trade show who molested a £3000 sex robot so badly it was left ‘broken and soiled’, click HERE.


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