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ISIS Has Told Its Terrorists To Avoid Europe So They Don’t Get Coronavirus

Just work from home with that suicide vest.

I wasn’t really certain that ISIS and jihadis were still a thing these days because it’s been a while since we’ve heard from them – naive I know – but their latest correspondence is encouraging them all to stay at home and out of Europe so that they don’t contract Coronavirus.

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Isn’t that cute? They’re just like me and you essentially, so maybe this will make them realise that and stop trying to blow people up and usurp the Western way of life. Lol sure.

Anyway, the news comes courtesy of ‘The Times Of London’ who somehow managed to get a hold of ISIS’s latest al-Naba newsletter. Apparently it says the following within it:

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The healthy should not enter the land of the epidemic and the afflicted should not exit from it.

Jihadists should cover their mouths when yawning and sneezing.

This plague is a torment sent by God on whomsoever He wills.

Illnesses do not strike by themselves but by the command and decree of God.

I mean that pretty much sounds like a parody of an ISIS newsletter doesn’t it, but I’m being assured that it’s real. It’s just so stupid to think that all he terrorists out there are working from home now because you can’t exactly blow up your own house with a suicide vest can you?

I guess they’re some of the real victims of Coronavirus as it really is taking away the opportunity for them to do their jobs. Light a candle in the window.

For more of the same, check out this story about an ISIS leader called Jabba The Hut. Have a guess why?

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