CHIRPSES

New iPhone App Tells You When It’s Safe To Have Sex

FERTILITY APP

Would you use this new iPhone app which aims to replace traditional methods of contraception?

Berlin-based entrepreneur Ida Tin says its time to change the family planning industry, as there has been no innovation since the introduction of the Pill 60 years ago. She has designed a free iPhone app called ‘Clue’, which tracks the user’s menstrual cycle and can predict the times they can have sex without getting pregnant. It can also tell users when they are most fertile and when the chances of getting pregnant are at their highest.

☛ No App Necessary: Willing Woman Needed For Neanderthal Pregnancy

IPHONE BIRTH CONTROL

Oh yeah, definitely. We’ll definitely let our iPhones tell us when it’s okay to jizz inside our girlfriends. Sounds like a fantastic idea. Are we talking about the same iPhone that randomly closes apps just as they’re about to open? The same iPhone that takes like 10 minutes to refresh Yahoo mail? The same iphone that dies after half an hour of use? Yeah that sounds like a piece of equipment I can trust to keep me from unplanned pregnancies. Sign me up.

☛ Oh Dear God: Moroccan Woman Pregnant With 46-Year-Old Stone Baby

Siri, is it okay if I have unprotected sex with my girlfriend today? “There…are…three…shoe shops…within…approximately… one mile.” Alrighty then. We’ll stick to our tried and tested pharmaceuticals.

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