Nitrous oxide can make people do funny things – in fact, Charlie Sheen blamed assaulting a dental nurse on being on the stuff rather than the copious amounts of cocaine he had consumed (which is much more likely).
Tim Kielty, a 54-year-old bloke from Benton County Oregon, recently got sky high on nitrous oxide and decided it would be a good idea to drop his trousers and take a dump in public – twice.
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He first entered a busy supermarket, pulled down his pants and shat in the middle of an aisle, before fleeing into the night. Here’s what a supermarket employee (and unfortunate bystander) had to say about the matter:
The man stopped in an aisle, lowered his shorts, and defecated in the aisle. He then continued walking around the store, tracking faeces as he went, until employees were finally able to get him to leave.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, Kielty had a particular thirst for faecal matter that night and later entered the home of a nearby resident, who was probably enjoying a well-earned work night brewski. From there he then got naked from the waist down and proceeded to curl one out on his, most likely, immaculate living room carpet.
The stunned resident called the local authorities and reported that a naked, intoxicated man was in his home. As Keilty was off his box, he left his bag at the supermarket, meaning that police were able to identify him instantly.
When the police showed up, they restrained Keilty and took him to a nearby hospital – but before he left, the nitrous oxide crap criminal asked the stunned resident for a towel.
As I said: nitrous oxide can make people do funny things. Check out this guy who was having the absolute time of his life on the stuff.