A Gang Of Aggy Seagulls Held A Woman Hostage For Three Days


Thugs of the sky.

An 80-year-old woman over in Brighton has said she was held hostage in her own home after being repeatedly attacked by a gang of seagulls. What a bunch of aggy cunts.

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Barbara Cox said that she was first started on by the birds while hanging out her washing. First one gripped at her leg, while another started gouging at it.

Unfortunately the police didn’t do anything for three days until she had to go to the hospital to be treated for the leg wound. She said:

I went out to hang my washing out and I thought ‘what’s that at the bottom of the garden?’ and saw it was a dead chick.

The next thing I knew two seagulls swooped down on me and one attached itself to my leg. I was terrified – I’m 80 years old.

It came down and grabbed me on the leg with its claws. It pecked me and caused me to bleed.

I phoned the police up and said ‘I’ve been attacked’ and they said ‘by who?’

I said ‘no, by a seagull’ and ‘can you send somebody to pick up this bird’ and they said ‘oh no we haven’t got the funding for that.’


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I said ‘can’t you use my percentage of the taxes I pay for that?’

It seemed like they were attacking forever but it must have been a minute or so.

I fell back trying to fight them off, then managed to get up crying and saw the blood on my leg and went inside to get it washed and sterilised.

It was horrible. I was too scared to go outside of my house for three days but I had to go to A&E in the end because my leg was hurting.

It could have had my eye out.

To be fair, that does sound pretty traumatic – I’d be scared too. In fact, it sounds a lot like the plot to Alfred Hitchcock’s ‘Birds’.

I know seagulls can be pretty forceful, but I’ve never heard of anything like this. Maybe this was the same gang that were getting on the gear?


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