It was a feel-good moment for every decent person on the planet yesterday when pharma CEO dickhead Martin Shkreli was arrested by the FBI and led away in handcuffs in a series of embarrassing photographs where he looked proper emo.
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The arrest was related to some stock fraud Shkreli was involved with in his old business that went bust, but many hoped that in the process of the arrest the FBI would seize the one-off Wu-Tang Clan album that Shkreli bought for $2 million (£1.3 million) — the only copy in existence.
If the FBI had seized it, not only would this be a kick in the dick for Shkreli, it would also open up the possibility of the album being obtained using public information laws and eventually being played publicly.
One joker even submitted a Freedom of Information request already asking for a copy of the album if it had indeed been seized.
Sadly, it wasn’t. The FBI says:
No seizure warrant at the arrest of Martin Shkreli today, which means we didn’t seize the Wu-Tang Clan album.
Damn, that’s annoying. But hey, good to know that Shkreli isn’t listening to it right now either as he sweats the charges being brought against him.
Before his arrest, Shkreli had this to say about obtaining the album for himself:
I’m the most successful Albanian to ever walk the face of this Earth.
I bought the album. (There’s a) big fucking cheque in RZA and Cilvaringz’ pocket now, but they’re starting to turn up on me.
This Wu-Tang thing is starting to get pretty tense. You probably see that increasingly. I’m getting pretty frustrated by it. I bought the most expensive album in the history of mankind and fucking RZA is talking shit behind my back and online in plain sight.
God everything this guy says makes you want to punch him.
In Wu-Tang’s defence, they had no idea what a muppet Shkreli was before selling him the album. RZA said:
The sale was agreed upon in May, well before Martin Skhreli’s business practices came to light. We decided to give a significant portion of the proceeds to charity.
P.S. Did you know Shkreli once offered his ex-girlfriend $10,000 to let him perform oral sex on her? True story.