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Dying Porn Star Wants To Crowdfund £5000 So He Can Be Buried In A Giant Remote Controlled Penis

Porn Star

Reasonable.

I haven’t given much thought to my funeral arrangements, but I imagine that I’m not going to want to be buried or cremated inside a giant inflatable penis like this guy though.

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Porn star Johnny Rockard has revealed that he’s been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and is eager to have one of the dumbest funerals in history it sounds, as he’s trying to crowdfund £5000 to fund the manufacture of a giant remote-controlled penis. Here’s what he had to say about it (the video is 11 minutes long so you can see a brief summary of it below too):

I know there will be people who will contribute to it because they want to see the back of me, there will be those who contribute to it because they think it’s absolutely hilarious.

This is quite a historical moment – no one has ever been buried or cremated in a penis before.

It’s just me mocking the whole thing about funerals, completely ripping the traditional idea apart and having a bloody laugh at the same time.

I care not a stuff for ceremonies, especially religious ones.

So absolutely no prayers whatsoever shall be uttered. No mention of god or blessings. Just a truly and wonderfully anarchistic event of vicars and tarts suitably and scurrilously anti-dressed for the occasion.

I mean it sounds pretty fun to be fair and he seems like a bit of a joker, but I just can’t believe that anyone would want to be buried in a giant penis. It’s the kind of thing that’s a little bit funny for a bit but gets progressively more and more unfunny as time goes by. If it’s what he wants though I hope he manages to smash his target and see i through.

For more of the same, check out this guy explaining what it’s like to date a porn star. Difficult.


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