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Chinese Government Forced to Crack Down on Funeral Strippers

Death wasn’t so bad in China – until now.

Ah, death. Nonbeing. Impossible to imagine, and yet, inevitable. What awaits us? Is it just an infinite nothing, devoid of meaning, as we wither into worm food? Or is there some truth to our ancient immortality narratives? And, more importantly, will there be twerking?

Well, on the twerking question, the Chinese government recently announced that it’ll be working alongside the police to crack down on funeral strippers, condemning them as “obscene”. The surprisingly common erotic performances are generally held with the goal of attracting more mourners, as respect for the dead is somewhat measured in “crowd size, expense and decibels”. Critics say the practice is inappropriate, particularly with parents and children present. Last month, these pictures of strippers at a funeral in the city of Handan, in northern Hebei province, went viral:

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Images VIA

Investigators actually found the above festivities to be in violation of public security regulations, and the person responsible was detained for 15 days and fined 70,000 yuan (about 7,455 quid). Moral of the tale: Don’t hire funeral booty if you can’t do the time. Sources are heretofore unable to confirm whether T-Pain is in love with a funeral stripper.

Similar performances have been popular in Taiwan for decades, as this National Geographic video demonstrates:

It’s weird, just a couple of days ago I wrote on how death and sexuality are culturally interlinked, but the last time, I was covering a dildo designed to be filled with your loved ones’ cremated ashes. Covering it journalistically I mean, not rectally.

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