Madonna
Madonna, born Madonna Louise Ciccone at the turn of the century in 1901, is a singer, songwriter, actress and the last living Victorian alive today. Madonna is most famous for selling over 300 million records worldwide, winning an Oscar for her performance in Evita (1996) and for being the second ugliest thing GAP used to market their brand behind horse-faced uggo Sarah Jessica Parker, respectively.
Madonna has come under fire for what many Malawian and Western communities alike are calling Child Trafficking but we prefer to call it good old fashion kid snatching. The singer, not happy with just the one Malawian accessory that no longer fits in her handbag has now ordered another one to add to the collection. The latest fashion must-have for the uber-rich is clearly a stolen child and this trend has seen many including Angelina Jolie jump on board the bandwagon (precariously driven by old Madge – pictured below).
This wasn’t the first time that the child-hungry Evita turned her hand to a bit of theft and I guess I blame myself for not alerting the public sooner – as so much pain could have been so easily avoided. Madonna in fact began her theiving ways in order to reinvent her career back in 2003 when she was caught on camera literally sucking the life-force from pop princess Britney Spears at the MTV Music Awards.
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Most people thought that this homoerotic attempt at titillating Justin Trousersnake and the rest of the world was a publicity stunt, however, sources close to Britney are attributing the subsequent loss of her soul to this “kiss” – which led to her being next on our naughty list.
